Developing a healthy self-esteem involves more than just saying affirmations to yourself. While affirmations can be helpful in reminding you of the importance of ‘thinking positive’, for them to be effective, you will need to believe in the affirmation. Developing a healthy self-esteem involves more than just introducing things in your life that bring about confidence, such as a job, relationship, social network, or hobby. It involves the process of correcting unhealthy thinking patterns and beliefs.
Self-esteem is something that you naturally develop as you transition through the different phases in life and experience positive outcomes and overcome negative experiences. Unfortunately, the early stages in a child’s life are critical in how well they will develop a healthy self-esteem. The more negative the experiences and the less nurturing a child has the higher the chance of developing an unhealthy sense of self-worth.
An unhealthy self-esteem will restrict your life. While it is not something that you choose to have, nor is it an easy thing to fix, without a strong sense of self-worth you cannot live life to its fullest. This is because you cannot live in a life that you fear.
The two typical fears experienced when you have poor self-esteem are a fear of failure and a fear of rejection from others. Fear of being rejected by others will result in over-pleasing and over-committing behaviour that can only lead to feeling used and unvalued, and toxic relationships. Fear of failure will result in anxiety and in some cases, perfectionistic behaviour, or avoidance, and/or a lack of personal growth.
When you have self-esteem, you seek out healthy relationships and take on opportunities that come your way. You will have healthy stress management and coping skills. You will be assertive in dealing with difficult people. You will deal with problems in a pro-active way. You enjoy and embrace challenges and decision-making will be a lot easier. And most importantly, you will develop your own identity.
Heal Your Mind, Heal Your Life is a self-help book that focuses specifically on the development of a healthy self-esteem and resilience to cope with challenging situations, and to enjoy the journey to positive experiences and outcomes.